I had no idea how much conformity goes on in my world. Recently, I was invited to participate on a training team with dear friends and people I love and respect. My initial response was “Yes! I will do that, I will love to set foot back into the world of this sort of interactive format in which people experience their lives in real-time with an intention to notice what is happening and receive a deeper communication about what it means for them.
But after my initial “Yes!” I began to have serious misgivings. I felt in my gut, in my solar plexus, a huge resistance. So I questioned it. “What’s the resistance?” And the communication was, “in doing that, you are taking on that operating behavior of yours, the one that conforms. That goes along. That doesn’t really review what is being asked for and then deeply and honestly committing to it.”
I didn’t realize I was doing that, mentally, but my gut told me.
The awesome thing about this for me was that I have been learning to pay attention to that, to stop and listen to myself, rather than drag myself around to places my mind tells me I “should” be.
I slowed my process down. I made my inquiry, “is this conformity necessary? can the training process be something I engage in, without that conformity?” And the answer was, “Yes!”. This training will only be useful to you if you show up as yourself, without any conformity”. Not “non-conformity” because that takes extra energy. But “conform” means to ME “become the form of the others” – “blend in” – and not merely “participate” or “be part of”.
Somewhere along the line I developed the behavior of blending in, going along, and expanded it to taking care of others, acting to please others, not rock the boat etc. My husband tells me this is not totally true (he would know 😉 ). But fundamentally, acting in this manner unconsciously leads to my unhappiness and that of those around me because it is not true for me.
I chose to step into the training leadership possibility for myself to practice being myself and with an awareness of being me versus conforming to a set of expectations of others. I’m so excited about the freedom this represents for me and others. It’s going to be so great to experience whatever happens when I show up, and this showing up process is not something that is rehearsed in advance. It’s coming from my real-time, aware place of being, from what I experience in my heart right now.
Ahh, freedom. Here I come!